From the Eagle 106 John Lander & the Nut Hut Vault

Two weeks ago last Monday I was driving home at night
The guy in front was pokey, he wanted to see the sites
I didn't wanna be Gumby so I switched to passing gear
When I pulled up along side him, he offered me a beer

"Hey man, you wanna beer?"
"No thanks, man."
"You sure?"
"No, I'm Bob."
"Ok man, we'll see ya later."

I pulled into my driveway, walked up to my front door
I went inside and noticed there were hoof marks on the floor
I measured them with utmost care and thought the tracks were deer
Then suddenly it hit me what was happening in here

There's a Moose in my House
I thought it was a deer
There's a Moose in my House
But now it's really clear
There's a Moose in my House
Got a major problem here
Moose, Moose in my House

What am I gonna tell my Dog?

I checked the mail and found a box from the Sierra Club
I ran into the bathroom and found moose hair in my tub
My bill from Bell has phone calls to the Yukon and Montana
My tooth brush smells like moose breath, I'm missing my pajamas

There's a Moose in my House
I don't know what to do
There's a Moose in my House
I stepped in Moosey poo
There's a Moose in my House
My dog is turning blue
Moose, Moose in my House

I looked in here, I looked in there, I looked in the dirty clothes hamper
I looked in the backyard and found a troop of Cub Scout campers
I asked them why that they were here it is my yard you know
They said they "we are moose hunters, this is the place to go"

"We're moose hunters!"
"Oh yeah?"
"He's in your house!"
"I know. Ya wanna get outta my yard?""

I know this all sounds stupid, you probably think I'm dumb
You might think I'm a mental case or maybe just a bum
But someday you just might come home and find a big surprise
A moose takes up a lot of space and really draws the flies

There's a Moose in my House
I thought it was deer
There's a Moose in my House
But now it's really clear
There's a Moose in my House
I should have had that beer
There's a Moose in my House
Got a major problem here

There's a Moose in my House
I don't know what to do
There's a Moose in my House
I stepped in Moosy poo
There's a Moose in my House
I hope that there aren't two
There's a Moose in my House
My dog is turning blue